


As Warm As Bluebell Flames

by MochiGang



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Animagus, Child Neglect, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jerk Jaehyun, M/M, Muggleborn Renjun, Ravenclaw Sicheng, Sad Sicheng, Slytherin Renjun, Smol Chaebol Renjun, Time Skips, Trust Issues, sorry Jaehyun, that's more for Jaewin though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 04:13:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17655857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MochiGang/pseuds/MochiGang
Summary: "Renjun didn’t find anything wrong with what he was doing. Not until he had quite literally bumped into Sicheng, in his decidedly not fox form, which immediately sent his smaller figure down onto the floor."ORRenjun, in all his brilliance and loneliness, decides to get close to an equally lonely Ravenclaw who happened to be none other than the Hogwarts Pariah, Dong Sicheng.





	As Warm As Bluebell Flames

**Author's Note:**

> I can't even begin to write how much I love the prompt I had chosen. To my prompter, I hope you enjoy this as much as I did imagining it! Also Winren?? Wow a rare pokemon!
> 
> (Prompt 54 - "Harry Potter Au. Person A is lonely, so he spends a lit of his time in the forbidden forest, near the lake, or at some hidden nook in Hogwarts. Person B is an animagus who follows him everywhere in his animal form, and offers his company in exchange for petting.")

There’s a sudden flourish of life every year on the eleventh of September beginning from the earliest of dawns to just past noon when all friends and colleagues have finished catching up after having seen their progenies off for another year at Hogwarts. It’s on one of these thrumming days where one Huang Renjun stepped afoot Platform 9 ¾ for the very first time. 

Eyes snapped to him almost instinctively; gazes ranging from the shocked sets of eyes that some Muggle parents had, to the curious ones set upon the magical folk’s faces at seeing a small, unfamiliar, yet sharply dressed boy being accompanied by the Deputy Headmistress.

Renjun certainly hadn’t known what to expect when he was told to run straight at a wall, other than a receiving a concussion and certain embarrassment of course. He most definitely hadn’t expected the indiscernible whispers to have followed him through the magical barrier. And yet, they had, which prompted the boy to quickly and politely bid his farewells to the stern woman before boarding the train.

_ Oh. _

A scaled creature more akin to a cat than a reptile, had brushed past the boy in what he could only describe as nonchalance found in the most unbothered of souls and Renjun couldn’t help but stare after it. The closest he’d ever been to an exotic animal was when one of his aunts had worn one in poor taste. Renjun was sure that none of whatever  _ it _ had been would ever be in the clutches of his aunt, he’d make sure of it.

“Hey! Statue!”

Renjun startled from his stupor and turned to an open compartment facing him. Large rounded eyes met his, almost challenging him in some sort of stare down before the other boy broke it with a series of blinks.

“You look sorta lost. Are you a Firstie?” The loud boy questioned, finally moving towards the opening of the compartment. Renjun’s eyebrows furrowed. For one, the boy looked no older than he did and yet acted as if he wasn’t, which Renjun could tell by how the boy’s robe had the generic style with no house allegiance of any sort marking it, quite similar to Renjun’s own, if not a bit shabbier. Secondly, Renjun didn’t know if he should even respond to the boy or just proceed on and look for an empty compartment.

As if the other boy had read his mind, or at least his shifty eyes, Renjun was dragged into the compartment without a choice and promptly sat besides another boy, one with long lashes and a smile much too large to not seem creepy to Renjun.

“My name’s Na Jaemin. What’s yours?” The smiling boy had asked him in the cheesiest voice Renjun has ever heard in his eleven years of existence. He didn’t know how to feel about it.

“Huang Renjun.” He simply whispered in response.

To his surprise, both of the boys merely accepted that with a slight nod as if they were simply filing it away to remember. It was definitely a different experience for Renjun who had been so used to seeing so many others widen their eyes at knowing his identity before backing off.  _ But _ , Renjun guessed,  _ they probably were never raised in the muggle world. _

It was a small comfort. One that he had thought to have left him when he first entered the Wizarding World earlier. But in that small compartment, the one of many in the massive Hogwarts Express, Huang Renjun settled into his new life of being just a mere boy, albeit magical, listening along to two other boys who were more interested in his snaggletooth than in his name.

_ “Well why don’t you just get it fixed magically?” _

_ “Hyuck, he’s obviously a Muggle-born...” _

_ “You sure? His clothes are different though? It radiates Pureblood.” _

_ “Pureblood?” _

_ “Oh! So you’re not then? It means you got your head up your a—” _

_ “Alchemy! Merlin…it’s like you’re trying to summon your brother here.” _

That seemed to trigger a fit of laughter between the two boys who were privy to whatever inside joke had occurred.

Renjun felt the smallest stirrings of envy as he stared on with a strained smile. But at seeing the two boys his age unabashedly laugh in front of him without a care for decorum, he proceeded to shake his head to clear that feeling away. He didn't want to start off what could perhaps be new friendships with a negative emotion. But still...he couldn't deny the fact that he was envious of the two’s strong bond. 

He wanted that...Renjun had  _ always _ wanted that. 

* * *

It was purely by association that Huang Renjun had racked up as many detentions as he had gotten within his first three years in Hogwarts. He should’ve known from the very first train ride with the Troublesome Twos (nickname courtesy of Donghyuck’s older prefect brother, Taeyong) that his time in Hogwarts would not be one void of punishments. Hence, why the boy felt comfortable enough to take the Forbidden Forest part of the punishment, with his familiarity and all that (although if you’d ask him, he still has yet to find that same comfort with the school ghosts).

“So…how do you think you’re going to earn back your house’s favor?” Lee Jeno, the fourth member of the infamous  _ Marauding Founders _ quartet asked as he struggled untangling the Unicorn hair from the undergrowth.

Renjun who had been doing the same thing a few feet away merely shrugged before responding, “Honestly, they should know by now that if I lose them points it means all other houses are suffering the same thing. It’s not like we’re at any less of an advantage than we were before.”

“Imagine if any of us were sorted in the same houses.” Jeno smiled, eyes and all, at the thought whilst Renjun shivered at the mere idea of it.

“Please Jeno, I can only take so much a day. Seeing your faces more than I do now would drive me to St. Mungos.”

Renjun and Jeno both snickered to themselves and continued their delicate task, accompanied only by the formidable Fang sitting watch as the Slytherin and Hufflepuff duo followed through Hagrid’s orders.

But just as Renjun had spooled the last bit of Unicorn hair into the bag Hagrid provided them, he stilled and stopped breathing. Carried in the same subtle night breeze that caused the Unicorn hair Jeno had been working on to tickle the boy’s nose, was the sound of someone sniffling. In any other case, Renjun would’ve gone to check on the noise. But with good sense and a overwhelming will to live, he shuffled over to the taller boy and tugged on his sleeve.

“Huh?”

“We should leave soon. I’m done with mine.” Renjun whispered, hoping that Jeno would get the hint to leave. He knew from his friend’s lax manner that Jeno had not picked up on the noise. How could he though? Whoever, or whatever, had made those sniffling noises had been a little ways off from the clearing the two boys were at. Which only meant one thing _ —it worked! _

* * *

Jaemin sputtered in alarm as he was pulled into the Room of Requirements quite abruptly by the coldest pair of (small) hands he’d ever felt before. Much to his surprise, he was met with a far too animated Renjun beaming down at him, with enough degree of smugness for Jaemin to guess why Renjun had done what he had just done.

But in typical Na Jaemin fashion he decided to flirt with the older boy before addressing it instead.

“I mean if you wanted a place to make _—”_ _  
_ “In your wet dreams Na.” Renjun hadn’t missed his cue, having been well acquainted to the younger’s antics. Jaemin wasn’t called Cupid’s Boy for nothing. Renjun was just thankful that his friend was all bark and no bite.

True to his nature, Jaemin cheesily smiled and settled into the large velvet couch that he knew from firsthand experience was near identical to the one in Renjun’s bedroom. It was the softest and most comfortable piece of furniture in the whole castle and Jaemin had voiced before how he would one day steal Renjun’s couch if he couldn’t steal his heart.

Renjun brought both hands up to stroke at the sides of his dark hair, a habit that often indicated how Renjun’s mind was overworking itself, something that Jaemin prided in knowing as Renjun’s favorite study buddy. Jaemin tilted his own head in anticipation for what the Slytherin would say.

“I did it…I actually did it and I…” 

Jaemin didn’t think he’d be any more surprised by Renjun today, but it turned out that a choked up, tearful Renjun was far more jolting than an animated Renjun. 

He reached out to grab his friend’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze that seemed to calm him down, going by his grateful smile.

“I may be the smartest Ravenclaw to ever grace the halls of Hogwarts but I need you to use your words Renjun.” Jaemin lightly joked. Renjun nodded calmly _ — _ the joke barely registering in his mind _ — _ before letting go of Jaemin’s hand.

“Close your eyes.”

Jaemin wiggled his eyebrows suggestively before following through Renjun’s request. For some reason unbeknownst to him, his palms started sweating. And then...he felt something nudge at his right hand. Jaemin cautiously opened his left eye to peek and immediately relinquished a breath of air he had unconsciously held.

There in the Slytherin’s place was a pile of Slytherin robes. In the middle of it sat a small Grey Fox, with eyes full of mirth and full of  _ smug— _

“Merlin’s Balls! Renjun! I sort of guessed it but to see you actually…wow!” Jaemin didn’t even hesitate to give his newly transformed friend a scratch on his head. And once again Huang Renjun surprised Jaemin by preening. A Gray Fox preening _ —HUANG RENJUN PREENING _ !

“Awe you like petting little buddy? What if I _ —AGH! _ ” Jaemin dropped Renjun back onto the floor after failing to pick him up and press his face onto the side of his body like he habitually did with Jeno’s cat, nursing the area where Renjun the Fox nipped at.

“Hey! Watch it! Or else I’m locking you up and sending you to your biggest admirer!” 

Jaemin couldn’t have dodged the agile fox in time.

* * *

Being an Animagus (unregistered but let’s skip the semantics) definitely had its pros from Renjun’s standpoint. Not only did it allow him far more freedom in the muggle world, giving him a way out from his parents’ constant lockdown, but it also gave him sharper senses even when he wasn’t in his animagus form. Although like with all abilities, it also came with the unwanted.

See, he would’ve been fine with knowing that Donghyuck smelled too much like the Gryffindor Seeker for his blush to be anything innocent, or even knowing that the Ravenclaw who sat front row in Potions hadn’t washed for the third day in a row _ — _ Renjun was perfectly fine with knowing  _ those  _ things. In fact, it gave him some edge against his peers. What he wasn’t fine with was the keen sense of hearing that came with being a Gray Fox Animagus. The whispers that plagued his childhood became more defined, shedding its sinister vagueness but also gaining a more absoluteness to it that confirmed his suspicions. But what he hated the most, partly because he had built a strong enough wall against the pain that came with hearing gossip about  _ him _ , was when he heard the pain that others felt and were dealt with.

_ “I suggest you find somewhere else to sit.” _

_ “This isn’t even your table and why should I anyways?” _

Renjun couldn’t help but be drawn to the deep grumble coming from the end of the Ravenclaw table. From where he sat, he could only see the back of the slender figure who sat tensely as the Gryffindor Prince, Jung Jaehyun, loomed over him. But Renjun could tell who it was by their one pointed ear.  _ Dong Sicheng _ : Sixth Year Ravenclaw and the Hogwarts Pariah, for some reason that Renjun had never really pried into (it was a thing by the time he was sorted into his house and he was never one for drama).

_ “I want to sit here with my friend. You remember what that’s like right? Having friends? No? Of course not.” _

_ “Nice to know you’re still so childish.”   _

Renjun shivered at the Ravenclaw’s controlled return, there was an intensity there in his gritted way of talking…and a slight undercurrent of something else. But before things could escalate between the two Sixth Years, Jeno’s older cousin Doyoung had arrived and pulled away Jaehyun to a different spot in the Ravenclaw table, where both friends started to pile their breakfasts onto their plates, without another care for Sicheng’s presence; Sicheng who Renjun saw release a shaky breathe before letting his broad shoulders drop, as if the whole world had suddenly landed on it.

Renjun hated overhearing fights. Especially when he had no control over them, as he would have had it involved himself. But this…it wasn’t something he was a part of.

Renjun hurried to finish his plate of crepes before heading off to class with Jeno.

* * *

It was in the middle of his fourth year when Renjun had decided that it was a smart idea to roam the grounds in his animagus form. He made sure that his dorm mates were asleep, in the  _ I’m-Dead-Asleep _ sort of sense, before slipping out in his warmest pyjamas. And it was on this night where he was met once again with the unsettling sounds of someone sniffling in the Forbidden Forest.

Renjun didn’t really know if entering the Forbidden Forest as a Gray Fox was any safer than entering it as an armed wizard, but he supposed that if anything, he was small enough to miss and agile enough to use the forest to his advantage. What he wasn’t prepared for was to be met with a crying blob of cloak with Bluebell Flames floating around them, acting as if they were small guardian cherubs. Renjun padded closer to the figure and yipped to get their attention without shocking the person who he knew to be armed (unless they were proficient enough to cast the spell for the flames without a wand).  

The figure lifted their head from their arms and their glassy blue eyes struck Renjun and filled his body with such a profound, overwhelming feeling of sorrow _ — _ one akin to drowning without a hope of even dying as reprieve _ — _ that he felt his focus to remain in his animagus form tremble. It wasn’t until the crying boy smiled and held his face closer to one of the flames that Renjun even noted that it was  _ Sicheng  _ crying in the middle of the night and in the Forbidden Forest of all places.

_ ‘What’s wrong?’,  _ Renjun had wanted to ask but unable to because of the whole illegal unregistered thing. Renjun decided to inch closer to Sicheng slowly until he stopped with a yip after one of the Bluebell Flames had darted too close to him. 

Sicheng gasped before brandishing his own wand and casting a spell that brought together all of the flames into just one stationary ball, hovering shoulder level. Renjun nodded unconsciously, bringing a slight amused smile to Sicheng’s tear stained face.

“I’m sorry. I don’t normally get cute little foxes nearing me and I’m just trying to be a bit safe when crying.” Sicheng scoffed at his own self-deprecating joke before reaching his hand out to Renjun after a few beats of silence. Renjun tilted his head at him, amazed by how the elder had seemingly been falling apart a few moments prior. So he did the only logical thing and rested his head underneath Sicheng’s long outstretched hand. Warmth spread from Renjun’s head, not in an uncomfortable chafing manner but more in a soft, tingling manner similar to that of sitting besides the roaring fireplace in the Gryffindor dorms after having stood outside in the snow.

The sadness Renjun felt earlier ebbed away, replaced by a warm feeling. 

_ As warm as Bluebell Flames _ .

If foxes purred, Renjun definitely would’ve by now. Instead, he let out a strangled sound that he hoped belied his feeling of satisfaction, but guessing by how Sicheng had lifted his hand off in an alarmed manner, Renjun knew he had done nothing of the sort. So Renjun moved closer to the light haired boy to nudge at his waist, hoping to relay his desire to be petted more.

_ If Jaemin could see me now… _

Renjun let out the same satisfied sound, albeit quieter out of embarrassment, before looking up to the older student’s ethereal face. And in that moment, with Sicheng’s kind yet saddened eyes reflecting the gentle flame of the Bluebell Fire, Renjun promised to accompany him. And he did so, for every night Sicheng had found himself in need of a place where he could be vulnerable, he found himself accompanied by the same Gray Fox, always asking for small pets.

* * *

Renjun didn’t find anything wrong with what he was doing. Not until he had quite literally bumped into Sicheng, in his decidedly  _ not _ fox form, which immediately sent his smaller figure down onto the floor. Despite it being a familiar angle to his usual view of the student, Renjun knew that this image was very different by how the elder’s slate blue eyes held no comforting softness towards him. In fact, Sicheng’s eyes were clouded with a wariness as if he was expecting Renjun to snap at him like so many others. Renjun felt sick all of a sudden and scrambled off of the floor, clutching his satchel for stability before darting off in a skittish manner. And if Renjun had looked behind him, he would’ve seen the tall Ravenclaw’s facade crumble, before settling once more into its perfect, hard-earned place.

The following morning, after Renjun had promised to quit his nightly ritual of taking advantage of Sicheng’s vulnerability _ —I AM A SELFISH ASSHOLE— _ Sicheng showed up for breakfast with his shoulders that drooped more and eyes that were at its puffiest since Renjun had started visiti _ — _

_ Don’t kid yourself Renjun, all you’ve been doing is fooling Sicheng for your own selfish pleasure. You haven’t been helping him. _

Renjun tightened his grip around his spoon, dark thoughts gathering like an army of angry clouds ready for a storm, and all he could do was cast a ward around himself that muffled the surrounding conversations.

* * *

It felt discomforting to not be able to shift into his animagus form in such a long time. Perhaps Renjun had spent too much time as a Gray Fox, but going out at night for the first time since he had broken his nightly visits had felt bizarre to the Slytherin. Jaemin had once warned him about wizards who stayed too long in their animagus forms, something about becoming more animalistic in nature. Although Renjun hadn’t recognized any animalistic behavior from himself, he certainly felt as if he was in the wrong body as he walked through the passageway.

He was distinctly aware of how many points he could lose for his house, especially since the classes had ended already which meant that if Renjun were to lose Slytherin house points, he would not have the chance of gaining them all back. But Renjun had woken up in the middle of the night with a stirring notion rousing him up and out of his room without a care for the rules. He really couldn’t pinpoint the feeling, the sense of needing to go out into the night, but he did. Renjun made his way silently through the grounds under the Disillusionment Charm.

Skies were something Renjun had always admired, especially the starry skies. It was a sight so familiar to him, being the lonely child that he was under his family’s roof. The night skies, with all of its distant stars and its solitary moon, held a promise for the lonely boy _ : No matter how lonely you get, remember that one day you’ll be with the stars in a constellation of your own making. _ Yes, in his lonely childhood, Renjun had believed that once somebody died, they would pass onto their next life as a star. Back then it was comforting, it was the foolish hope of a neglected child. But death terrified him now. 

After all, it was much too soon to leave his friends behind and Renjun liked to humor himself and think that his friends would literally all end up in Azkaban without him, or some manner like that.

A loud splash interrupted Renjun’s late night musing, garnering his attention towards the Great Lake. Everything seemed normal to the boy, the surface rippling from the slight wind, causing the mirrored moonlight to shimmer amidst the darkness.

Renjun nearly brushed off the sound as the Giant Squid temporally surfacing in the clandestine night. He  _ nearly _ did.

But Renjun  _ saw. _ With his Gray Fox enhanced eyesight, he saw the crumpled robes at the shore of the lake, slightly covered by the overgrowth.

Something, perhaps the same something that had woken him up, instinctively pushed his body towards the scene.

_ Ravenclaw. _

A burst of fright bubbled up in his chest, threatening to clog his own throat in absolute fear.

Renjun swallowed and processed the situation the best he could, his eyes scanning wildly over the lake.

He didn’t understand what possessed him, again he was working on the mere  _ something, _ but Renjun quickly found himself underwater, swimming deeper into its abyss without a goal other than to  _ save. _

His lungs were screaming by the time he caught sight of a pale form with an all too familiar blonde hair, sinking slowly down into the swallowing depths.

_ Sicheng! _

Renjun pointed his wand towards the older boy and tried to summon him.

_ ‘You can’t summon a person.’ _

_ ‘Wanna bet? Accio Moomin socks!’ _

Renjun’s eyes widened before he brandished his wand with ferocity.

_ “Accio Jaehyun’s necklace!” _

* * *

_ ‘I guess it makes sense for him to so easily hurt me. It’s always the ones you care for the most that can hurt you the most,’ Sicheng solemnly grinned downwards at the sleepy fox curled on his lap. _

_ He brought his right hand up to stroke behind the fox’s ear, earning him a pleased sound.. Sicheng, with his other hand, stroked the necklace Jaehyun had gifted him on the last birthday they had spent together. _

_ The fox stared up at him with drowsy eyes, eyes brimming full with empathy. _

_ ‘Don’t worry. I’m over his stubborn ass.’ _

_ And yet, he still wore the necklace. _

* * *

Sicheng woke up warm in a room unfamiliar to him.

_ Is this hell? _

The drained boy dragged himself out of the door and paused. He wondered why hell looked like the seventh floor of Hogwarts, Barnabas the Barmy tapestry and all.

* * *

“Hey, you good with being by yourself this summer?” Jaemin asked as they boarded the train back to their homes. Renjun followed him into the quartet’s designated compartment, which they had claimed by their first year.

“I think so…I was good during the holidays when I snuck out and everything. It’s better than last year for sure.” Renjun distractedly spun his wand in his hand, too caught up in his thoughts to even notice Jaemin staring blatantly at him as if he was trying to decipher something about his friend.

“If you ever need an out from your place, you know you can call me yeah? I’ll be in mum’s villa so the phones there will actually work you know.” Jaemin chuckled more to himself, considering how despondent Renjun was. 

And although every year as they went back to their homes, Renjun was always the despondent one out of their group, this time it was a different type, Jaemin noted.

“Renjun, you know that if something’s bothering you, you can tell me right?” Jaemin stared openly at his friend, the feeling of frustration bubbling up within him after not getting any response. Jaemin huffed before making an obnoxious face at Renjun.

Renjun shifted and pointed to the door with his eyes to which Jaemin got the nonverbal message of and brought his wand out to lock the door and cast a ward around the compartment.

_ “I think…I think I might have messed up.” _

_ “Well that’s not really ne—” _

_ “And then I made an ever bigger mess trying to fix it and now I’m worried that Sicheng might not come back next year with how I  abandoned him like that when he was just getting better.” _

_ “I’m…I’m sorry I’m lost. What?” _

_ “I think I made him even sadder and I don’t know what to do about it without revealing that I was the fox all along and yeah I’m scared that he might report me for it but I think I owe him that after being selfish for wanting comfort from him by lying to him which also means that I know things that he’d never had shared with me if he had known I wasn’t just some common fox. But hey, like you said, what’s new?” _

A pregnant pause, followed by the loudest banging against the compartment door which signaled the arrival of Donghyuck who loudly whined at being locked out of their own compartment, signalling the end of the two friends’ conversation after Renjun’s outburst, leaving no resolution. And all throughout the train ride, Jaemin could only offer him sympathetic glances.

Renjun could only stare out into the shifting scenery, watching as the trees slowly turned into villages, worrying over the fate of a certain Ravenclaw whose life he had saved a couple of hours earlier. 

* * *

Renjun had an entire summer to himself to come up with a plan on how to make it up to Sicheng, after assuring himself that Sicheng  _ would _ be back for his final year in Hogwarts. 

Renjun supposed that had he been sorted into Gryffindor, he would’ve been upfront about it and just tell Sicheng without a care for the consequences that he might deal with. But he wasn’t sorted into the lion house for a reason.

On the third week of his summer holidays, Renjun’s plan of planning was cut short when his father had reminded him about how an old associate who had a strong hand in winning his father his campaign, would be staying over along with his wife and eldest son.

To be honest, nothing in his father’s inane letters had ever quite registered in Renjun’s mind, especially when he was dealing with the whole Animagus deal in his third year and consequently, the Sicheng ordeal in his fourth. But as he stood in front of his father’s guests in the stuffiest suit, Renjun regretted not paying more attention to the letter as the family in front of him were most definitely magical, with their  _ aura _ , as Donghyuck reminds him, being almost unbearably overpowering in a sense.

He was sure that if Donghyuck was there he’d throw around words like  _ Elite Asses, Pureblooded Shits, _ and  _ Dark Arts. _

Renjun politely shook the son’s hand, his eyes ogling at how the son, whom his father had said to be around his age, had hands large enough to completely drown his own ones in his warmth. Renjun would even go as far as to betting that the tall boy’s large hands were big enough to completely close over his hand if he held out a fist. It was intimidating for someone with such physical prowess to also have magical prowess, Renjun thought and decided to, for once, be on his best behavior for his father’s guests.

Two days passed before Renjun let go of the notion that the family had been intimidating. Yes, they were wizards like him and the fact that his father had no idea was a bit alarming. And yes, they practiced magic a little bit more on the darker end of the Magician’s Magical Moral spectrum or whatever. But  _ any _ family that ended up raising up Wong Yukhei to be the stretched out puppy that he was, could not be all  _ that _ intimidating.

Another day passed before Renjun realized that Yukhei had been intimidated by  _ him _ . And after confronting Yukhei about it in the family gardens post-dinner photos, he had found out from the much larger teen that it had been because of Renjun’s rather turbulent aura.

“My mother joked about how my father had been the same way before going against his own family to marry her. Thinking about going against your family lately? Marrying someone?”

Renjun could tell from Yukhei’s following awkward chuckle that he had only been kidding, perhaps to fill the awkward silence…but nevertheless Renjun had spiked him a sharp glare before unceremoniously jinxing his clothes far too small for comfort.

The following day had been rather awkward, with stilted conversations between the two boys continuing on throughout the afternoon and even lasting until the night before Renjun was meant to head off for his fifth year in Hogwarts. Renjun couldn’t say that he didn’t try to be amicable to Yukhei, but he definitely could’ve tried  _ harder _ . He definitely should’ve, especially with Yukhei following him onto Platform 9 ¾ for some sort of exchange student deal going on that year where selected students were allowed to spend a year as a Hogwarts student.

Now, Renjun was talented in many things, often coming in as the second in his class (to Jaemin) if not the head, but he was objective enough to know that he was shit at Divination _ — _ that was more of Donghyuck’s specialty, despite his love for watching the night skies. Which is why he could have never foreseen how Wong Yukhei would sharply tug on his arm and lean down to loudly whisper into his ear as if they had been buddies all summer, asking him who  _ that _ was.

Renjun followed Yukhei’s pointed finger and saw amidst the crowd, a lanky, pink haired student clad in the blue robes of _ —Oh my god is that Dong Sicheng? _

* * *

It was weird and a bit presumptuous of Renjun to expect to meet the same Sicheng as the one he had last seen.  _ This _ Sicheng, Seventh Year Sicheng, was quite different from all of Renjun’s expectations. Asides his physical changes which only emphasized the handsomeness that laid passively for years on the Ravenclaw’s surface, something about the way he carried himself also changed. Although not buzzing with happiness as some (including Renjun’s own friends) students were, there was a new sort of light that lit up in his eyes. 

If Renjun could compare last year’s Sicheng to a Bluebell Flame, the Sicheng that  _ strode _ in the halls of Hogwarts now was the embodiment of Fiendfyre. Unpredictable and uncontrollable and wholly desperate to  _ devour _ ,  _ desperate to live. _

Renjun supposed that it might have been out of morbid curiosity rather than a move in his Sicheng plan that caused him to start visiting the Forbidden Forest once again. Everynight his fox would wait patiently in the clearing, expecting each shift of wind to carry the sounds of Sicheng’s whimpers or even Sicheng to materialize after hearing what sounded like footfalls, despite it not making sense with the sounds coming from deeper within the forest. But again, Sicheng broke Renjun’s expectations, not once showing up in the handful of nights Renjun sat and waited for him.

* * *

There was a Yule Ball to be held at Hogwarts, continuing the long tradition of the Yule Ball (barring the dangerous Triwizard Tournament that came along with it in times long passed). Despite the tradition of the fatal competition being long gone, the time surrounding the Yule Ball was still as eventful as ever with a castle full of hormonal wizards.

Renjun had bared witness to Jaemin snapping at an occupied and very confused Donghyuck practically  _ every day _ since the Headmaster had announced the event during the Welcoming Feast, forcing the group to split up for the time being. Renjun would sit besides the fuming Ravenclaw as he spat out all the  _ ‘Vile and Corrupt!’  _ wishes Donghyuck had confided with them about Mark Lee and the Yule Ball as Jeno sat with the two lovebirds across the hall.

Because of this, Renjun had sat far closer to Sicheng than he had expected to, which meant that he had front row seats to the spectacle that the Phoenix Sicheng had become. Just sitting near the Seventh Year made Renjun tenser than he ever was. It was hard to correlate the Sicheng who coldly turned down another Yule Ball proposal to the same one that had used to skirt around the student body with his head held down, let alone the blue lipped Sicheng that Renjun had casted spell after spell on.

“You’ve changed,” A smooth voice had uttered near Sicheng’s vicinity, enough to elicit something greater than a flippant and detached manner from the Ravenclaw.

Renjun shifted nonchalantly and was met with the frowning face of none other than Jung Jaehyun.

_ Oh no. _

Renjun was careful not to be noticed by either as he turned defensively towards Sicheng. There was that same vulnerability present in his eyes that always presented itself whenever the older boy had mentioned Jaehyun’s name.

“I have,” Sicheng quipped back, opening his mouth as if he was contemplating on saying more. He turned away from Jaehyun, whose face morphed into abrupt surprise.

“I’m relieved.”

Sicheng snorted at that, muttering in a biting tone, “Who cares what you think, Jung.”

Jaehyun shifted awkwardly at the obvious dismissal. If Renjun had been a mere stranger to their whole relationship he would’ve felt bad for the guy. But he knew far too much compared to the regular student to feel anything but pride towards Sicheng. He could even see, from how many buttons Sicheng had unbuttoned on his uniform, that Jaehyun’s necklace was nowhere to be found.

“You’re still there? Could you kindly leave? You’re being a distraction to my tutee,” Sicheng had cooly intoned before he faced Renjun himself. It took Renjun a few seconds to understand that Sicheng had meant him.

For some unknown and petrifying reason, Sicheng had locked his strong gaze on him. And for some unknown reason—that same  _ something _ —Renjun had agreed to being the tutee of a starkly unfamiliar Sicheng (despite how he clearly didn’t need any form of tutoring).

* * *

It was weird to talk to Sicheng for long bouts of time and find out about things that even the fox Renjun hadn’t known. Perhaps because it was a different setting, an entire different interaction, and a wholly less vulnerable Sicheng, that the facts that Renjun had learned from their little study sessions had been much less severe to one’s mentality.

“You haven’t tried playing Exploding Snap naked haven’t you?”

“Oh and you have?” Renjun raised his eyebrow in curiosity towards the older male, who merely shrugged with a comfortable smile.

“Well my dear little pupil, I may or may not have intel on just how much more daring it is to play Naked Exploding Snap than playing  _ Quidditch _ in a blizzard,” the emphasis that Sicheng put on stupid had not been missed by the perceptive Renjun. Jung Jaehyun had won Gryffindor their match that day and had promptly flown down towards the booing Ravenclaw stands where Sicheng (and Renjun and Jaemin) had been.

It was too chaotic for even Renjun to hear what heated words the two were discussing, but according to Sicheng’s dramatic leave, it had not been a positive one. Which is why Renjun had suggested a brief study session in the library which quickly spiraled into random fact sharing that the two were prone to divulging into.

“I hope you’re quiet because you’re trying to solve that problem still and not because you’re picturing me naked,” Sicheng had slyly spoken.

Renjun could feel his face warm rapidly at the lewd proposal and turned to the opened Arithmancy Textbook open on the table.

The comforting silence continued on for another hour or so, but at some point Renjun had lifted his tired eyes from the clean pages of his book and stared openly at the boy across from him. Sicheng was entirely too occupied with his new book to catch Renjun staring at him.

Sicheng made for an abstract image in Renjun’s mind. The windows in the library had let in a gentle stream of sunlight that parted around the Ravenclaw’s silhouette like golden water, accentuated by the gleam of Sicheng’s golden frames that perched elegantly on his aquiline nose.

But even so, Renjun could not forget the image of a younger Sicheng being cast in the blue glow of Bluebell Flames.

“Sicheng I—”

A loud clatter of books interrupted Renjun.

“I heard you were in the library Renju—oh! Hi!”

Just like that, the bumbling and endearing form of Wong Yukhei had managed to chase away the brave reserves that Renjun had been saving up to confess everything to Sicheng. And just like that Renjun was made aware of just how out of his depth he truly was when, surprisingly, Wong Yukhei had walked out of the library with a beaming smile on his face and a confirmation on his Yule Ball date.

“Congrats,” Renjun whispered half-heartedly.

Sicheng pinned him with an indiscernible look before he shook his own head with a small smile.

“Thanks, I guess.”

* * *

It was an absolute epiphanic moment to Renjun as he sat in Madam Puddifoot’s tea shop along with his friends and their significant others, that he was alone once more. 

Not that he had anything against the couples themselves but he certainly did feel a bit bitter seeing himself in the reflection of the rose tinted glass walls, singled out in the group by his  _ singleness _ .

Dating had never been a concern for the Fifth Year Slytherin. Hell, he had been advised by his own mother early on in his teenage years that in order to save himself the tears, not to date anyone as  _ ‘Father will have someone for you, so don’t you worry your pretty little head over it’. _

But sitting in between his coupled friends; hearing Mark Lee’s giggles as Donghyuck played around with the conjured snow angels and seeing Jeno lean into Jaemin’s side and quite obviously trying to hold hand beneath the table (despite thinking that they were being so secretive with their whole blooming relationship)—it made Renjun ache with longing. It reminded him of his first meeting with his friends actually. Although this time he had no particular greed for someone in mind. Or so he fooled himself into thinking.

* * *

He had to laugh. Really.

“Wong why do you think I can help you with that? Also don’t you think you’re doing too much?”

The tall exchange student rounded on Renjun with his large exasperated eyes.

“Come on Renjun, help me,” Lucas whined and latched onto his arm which was definitely not ideal for the much slighter framed boy.

Renjun tried to shake him off but the persistent boy refused much to his annoyance. He sighed.

“Fine, if you want I’ll ask him what type of chocolates he likes better. Boo. You better make this up to me,” Renjun pouted which only prompted Yukhei’s cooing and pinching of his cheeks.

* * *

“What’s your favorite chocolate?”

“Raspberry filled ones, I’d imagine.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I love anything Raspberry but I’m allergic to chocolates.”

“Oh…”

“You sound so disappointed. Why? Did  _ the _ Huang Renjun get poor little Dong Sicheng some?”

“Shut up. You’re neither poor nor little. It wasn’t for me anyways.”

“Ahh and here I thought that I was getting some exotic muggle chocolates from the  _ Little Prince _ himself.”

“ _ Ugh you’re so annoying _ . I shouldn’t have told you about my family…but still, what  _ would _ you like?”

* * *

"Yukhei he wants a gold bar with his initials stamped on it,” Renjun deadpanned.

Renjun’s prior flustered state questioning Sicheng about his mere preference in sweets had all been worth it when Renjun sees Yukhei’s face drain of color, sweat breaking out on his forehead. Leave it to Dong Sicheng to make even the usually positive boy question his own existence.

* * *

Almost by magic or more precisely,  _ absolutely by magic,  _ the Great Hall had been transformed overnight into a Winter Jungle, an oxymoron expertly handled by their Charms professor. Renjun although warm in his velvet suit felt like shivering as he passed beneath delicate vines wrapped in a sparkling gauze of frost. The fluttering conjured Snowflake Butterflies that had flown above the dressed student had even made Renjun sneeze when one landed on his nose, despite being warm to the touch.

All in all, the splendor of the magnitude of magic that went into creating the perfect illusion astounded Renjun, who was satisfied in viewing it all on top of the staircase. From his high vantage point, he was able to take in the potential of his own abilities. Really, he was a Slytherin through and through with the ambition that raced through him.

He wanted it all— _ the power _ —because to Renjun, power was  _ freedom _ . He had felt this desire once before, when he had come upon the concept of Animagus whilst studying with Jaemin back in their third year. Renjun was so desperate to accomplish the feat despite it being illegal and him being so young at that time because his thirteen year old self had deemed it the only way to escape his tyrannical father.

_ So what do I want to be free of this time? _

His gaze caught onto the glowing white cape that swished around a dancing Sicheng. Renjun’s breath caught in his throat.

There was a feeling there to be named, that Renjun stubbornly ignored as he stared on at the tall and handsome couple that made for a spectacular sight on the dance floor.

From his high vantage point he could see it all. The large hand splayed precariously on Sicheng’s waist. The goofy and unrestrained smile that Yukhei wore. The stubborn tilt of Sicheng’s crowned head. Jung Jaehyun in all his golden clad glory. His burning stare towards Sicheng’s white clad figure. Sicheng’s strained smile towards Yukhei as the boy left to get them drinks. Jung Jaehyun moving in like a Snow Leopard. Sicheng bracing himself for his old friend turned nemesis. The two leaving after one another.

Renjun felt sick.

He stumbled into the familiar dark passageway and dashed outside of the castle, before transforming into his animagus. At least then he could pretend that his biggest problems had been about survival.

* * *

Renjun really should’ve known by his fifth year in Hogwarts that  _ trouble found him _ and  _ he found trouble. _

He had thought that just because it was a couple of hours since he had fled from the castle and the entire Yule Ball thing, that he could finally return peacefully. But as he trailed into the passageway with his thoughts far too caught up in disarray for his senses to have alerted him, he stumbled into a scene that shook his entire core.

Gold and White clashed hungrily against each other, against the wall—bodies thrown into a raging, animalistic, and devastating dance.

The image of Sicheng that Renjun had thought to finally have cleared up in his mind, had once more burned up in his Bluebell Flames.

Renjun must’ve let out a noise in his distress for both heads snapped towards his direction.

“Lumos!” Jaehyun had casted. Renjun shirked away from the sudden blinding light emanating from his wand. Surprisingly, Jaehyun—Gryffindor Seeker Jaehyun—had not seen him, although he hadn’t really looked down at the floor which was still shrouded in lingering shadows, probably assuming that another student was the cause of the noise.

Jaehyun would’ve caught him had he been any taller than hr was at his Gray Fox height. But Sicheng saw. Of course he did. And he looked somewhat ashamed.

“Hey…maybe we should move back to my dorms,” Jaehyun whispered intimately into Sicheng’s pointed ear before canceling his spell.

Renjun took that chance and padded quietly back outside into the silent night. He returned to  _ that _ clearing once more, but this time it was more for his own tears than anything.

* * *

It spread throughout the entire school how one Huang Renjun, Slytherin’s prime candidate for Head Boy, had been found the morning after lying in the middle of the Forbidden Forest,  _ naked. _ Of course the naked part had been fabricated by the Hogwarts gossip mill, but nevertheless Renjun felt embarrassed.

The rumors had also specified how Renjun had been found in a clearing, a clearing all too familiar to a certain Ravenclaw.

Renjun tried his best to avoid him. But Dong Sicheng tried even harder to catch him.

* * *

“You’re an unregistered Animagus aren’t you?”

“I—I’m not.”

“Don’t lie to me. You and I both know that you’ve lied too much already...but you don't have to worry. I won't tell.”

* * *

“So…when?”

“Third year.”

“Merlin, that’s young. I mean I did the calculations in my head already but to hear it outright…I’ve been tutoring a prodigy all this time.”

* * *

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

* * *

“I forgive you. I think I understand why you did what you did. I would’ve done the same. I was lonely too you know.”

* * *

Sicheng, in one of their study meetings (a delicate way of rebuilding the relationship between the two) proceeded to demonstrate how to channel a strong enough will in order to cast a patronus meant for long distance messaging.

Sicheng amazed Renjun.  _ Merlin _ , he really amazed him. But at the same time, Renjun couldn’t help but imagine Gold and White. Always Gold and White.

Even when the bluish light that burst from his wand had transformed into a graceful, darting, Gray Fox. He really should’ve caught on then.

* * *

 

“I’m sorry that I hurt your friend.”

“He’s not my friend.”

“Come on, don’t deny a friendship in front of someone who clearly lacks them. It’s a bit selfish of you.”

“I thought we’ve already established that I am very selfish. Shouldn’t come as a surprise.”   
“Okay then…well even if he wasn’t your friend I’m still sorry. Yukhei was nice, genuine when most people haven’t been. But he was _ too _ nice and I don’t think I can do nice right now, it hurts when they turn not-so-nice.”

“But why Jaehyun?”

“Ah, the million galleon question: ‘Why Jung Jaehyun?’ I guess it was because I saw a chance, a way to tie the last loose threads before leaving Hogwarts.”

“So are you a thing now? What about Yukhei?

“Yukhei is deserving of far better than me. And no…again what Jaehyun and I did was a way of closure I guess…but I haven’t been his confidant in a quite a long time so I can’t speak for him of course. Why?”

“Because…because he shouldn’t have turned his back on you! Because, although you think differently, Jaehyun doesn’t even  _ deserve _ you! You were there for him when his mother died and yet he so easily discarded you for your mother’s faults. Not yours but hers! And yet he refused to listen! He’s noth _ —” _

Renjun felt plush lips press against his in the softest, most delicate manner, like the impression of butterfly wings fluttering against his.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. Especially after all that I’ve done. It’s just, you startled me. I forgot how much you really know about me.”

Renjun blinked and stumbled back against the bathroom counter. He felt like a child paddling wildly at the water to keep afloat. His heart beat fluttered along to the rhythm that the child Renjun had set onto beating against the water.

“But…what if I gave you permission to? What if I said I liked it, and that maybe I’ve wanted to for a long time now?”

Sicheng held onto Renjun’s shaking hands and pressed them against his lips before whispering, “Renjun, you have two more years in Hogwarts left. By the time you graduate you might not feel the same way _ —” _

_ “ _ Why did you kiss me then?”

“Because I was selfish. And I wanted to do one right thing without regret…and if for some reason Merlin is on my side and by the time you graduate you still feel the same for me…I hope that the man that I will be then is enough for you. Because I know that  _ you _ are far more deserving of the boy that I still am right now.”

Renjun shivered as the older student pressed a light kiss onto his pinky. He wanted to cry then and there as the Ravenclaw left quietly, throwing one last lingering look over his shoulder, before departing the Hogwarts Express for his final time.

He clung onto the hope that bloomed from the tip of his pinky. He promised himself, and to Sicheng, that when the day came, he would come to him as the Bluebell Flame once had.

He hoped that when the day came, they—the two loneliest halves of souls orbiting each other—would be enough for each other.

**Author's Note:**

> :( or :) I'd love to hear your thoughts! Which parts did you like the most/hate the most? Did you even like Renjun or Sicheng or did you want to slap some sense into them? Oh and last thing...would anyone be interested in Sicheng's half of the story?


End file.
